Where love rules, there is no will to power, and where power predominates, love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other. (Carl Jung)
Has your relationship lost its luster?
Do you long for the days when you felt passion and joy at being with your partner, when you felt comfort and warmth in coming together to share good as well as stressful time?
Has your relationship gone from this:
Early in a relationship, love hormones drive and support your love relationship, but as life impacts you and your partner, it changes the relationship because old patterns of reactivity and hurts surface. Each relationship has clear stages. Romantic love is a stage where you feel the love hormones and your partner seems like a perfect match. When conflict does emerge, it is growth trying to happen, but you are likely in this stage to find yourself in a power struggle where reactivity causes you to feel stress and disconnected. Next if you want to make the relationship work, you must re-commit with curiosity and a decision to do your own internal work. Doing the work involves gaining insight and
knowledge about yourself and the other person. As you do the work, you awaken to awareness and feel excitement once again. This process leads to Conscious awareness of differences between you and love based on safety, joyful being together, and passion. Guess which stage of relationship the cartoon represents. Are you there or has your awareness moved beyond this stage?
Using Imago Therapy tools, I can help you learn how to communicate so you and your partner help each other heal from past hurts without reactivity or additional wounding. In Imago work, the relationship is the client and each individual takes 100 per cent responsibility for their 50 per cent in the relationship. This work is very powerful because it creates a safe space for a couple to rekindle their love and joy at being together. The imago process works on the psychological, social, emotional, and evolutionary parts of the relationship leading to self-fulfillment and deeper connection in oneself and, thus, within the relationship.
Contact me now to get started and re-kindle the joy you felt early in your relationship.
- Does communication in your family break down?
- Do you lose your patience with your child?
- Is reactivity getting in the way of how you want to parent? Are you always telling your children that they “don’t listen?”
How families work
When anyone in an intimate relationship changes, the whole system in which they function experiences disequilibrium. Thus, through the years, I’ve spent a good deal of time working with families, so all family members have their needs met, and no one person carries the issues for the group. When a family works in a safe space and supports each other in their process, they can accomplish much more than any one individual member of the family. The benefits of a happy family have been scientifically documented. To grow in a family and as a parent, you need skills that you probably never learned growing up. There is no manual for learning how to be a calm, patient parent. I know from my own experiences.
Despite having studied and become an expert on child behavior and development, when I had my children, I realized that parenting activates a lot of unconscious programming. I determined to learn how to work with my children so they would co-create their future and contribute in productive ways to the family while thriving and realizing their own potential.
What helps families change
After completing my Ph.D., I studied Parent Effectiveness Training with Tom Gordon, Ph.D. and became a lead teacher while I was in Chicago. I used P.E.T. with my children very successfully and have expanded this work, integrating clean language, imago relationship therapy, powerful questions, with teaching parenting skills through the years.
In addition, I did post-doctoral work at Rush-Presbyterian Hospital in the Children’s Day School in Chicago where I worked with many children individually and in group therapy. I learned to recognize learning disorders that are often missed in schools and by standard visual screenings. It is important to build a child’s self-esteem and any issues are often best resolved with educating their parents on how to communicate better with their children.
When I work with parents and families, I teach communication skills and time management tools that make your home more efficient and easier to manage. Children complicate daily tasks and learning how to manage these go a long way to living harmoniously and happily.
Get your family and children the support and help you and they need now. Contact me to get started on an empowering path.
“Here is my secret. It's quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.” (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince)
Are you contemplating divorce or separation?
Do you and your partner have a conflict that needs resolution?
Making the decision to divorce is one of the most difficult decisions a couple makes. If your relationship is not gratifying and yet you are not sure whether it can be salvaged, you need help. I wrote Marriage in Trouble: a time of decision, after my divorce because the decision to leave my marriage was so excruciating that it took me two and a half years to gain the courage to admit that my relationship could not work for either myself or my husband. I came to understand that our values were so different that we would find happiness apart not together. At the time, I searched for help in making my decision and could not find anyone who could help guide me. Out of this experience I knew that I wanted to help others in the same situation. And, through the years, I have helped many people navigate reigniting their love as well as separating and finding happiness after divorce.
When a couple decides to separate, it is likely that they are feeling alienated from each other with resentments and reactivity that is deep and painful. I work with a separating couple so both feel acknowledged, validated, and understood. The process I use helps defuse their hurt allowing them to find the best outcome for themselves and their family. Divorcing couples I have worked with generally have amicable relationships after their divorce, and their children benefit greatly from their cooperative parenting.
As a clinical psychologist (CA License Number: PSY5297), I work with Conflict Resolution, especially in cases of divorce. I am trained as a Collaborative Divorce Mental Health Coach and work with couples who are divorcing. Working collaboratively minimizes the trauma and ill-will, and couples resolve their issues and come to a mutually beneficial resolution of their conflicts.
Contact me to get started now.
Conflict Resolution The goal of conflict resolution is to get the best outcome for all participants, so they all feel ready to move forward in positive ways toward their future with minimum hurt.
In business situations, as in couples work, communication is the key. I call upon my diverse skills as a communicator to find creative solutions to conflict situations. Often thinking “outside the box” is helpful and something hard for individuals in the midst of conflict.
In addition, I work with businesspeople facing challenges. They find solutions collaboratively, so the workplace is a healthy stress-free environment without bullying or disrespect. Such a workplace increases everyone’s sense of well-being and enhances productivity. Contact me to get started now.